wellbeing - Living Expressions

31 January 2025

Finding your Purpose: a journey of Rediscovery

Purpose is like the breath of life. For some, it could be more the breadth, depth, and width of life. We often think most about our purpose when we are struggling: as a teenager wondering what job we will do or which university course to take; when we become dissatisfied with our job, career direction, or course; and when we suffer trauma or health issues and lose the role we loved. I’ve been through all three, and the worst was the latter. When you finally find that role that fits you like a glove, you’re passionate about it, you love going to work, being part of the team, and then everything is taken from beneath you. Not only have I experienced it, but I’ve also witnessed and stood beside thousands of emergency services and Defence personnel going through this change once labelled ‘hurt on duty’ then medically discharged. How do we recover from this loss? Not only the loss of something we loved but the loss of our mental health, physical health, passion, drive, and purpose.

One thing I discovered on my journey is that my purpose was never truly lost; it just needed a new way to be expressed. It will certainly be different, and once we accept that, opportunities start to arise. Throughout my life, my purpose has always been education, motivational speaking, and supporting others to be their best. After my time in the police and navy, I found that my drive, passion, and purpose were still thriving. I just had to find the right avenue within my limitations.

After you decide to move forward, what happens next is truly amazing. It’s like the shifting forces of nature were engulfing your whole being beforehand. Most days felt like you were trying to move in the opposite direction through a massive windstorm. Then, the day it all becomes too much, sand flickers into your eyes, disabling your sight, and you feel totally exhausted—physically, mentally, and emotionally. It seems impossible to go on. At this point, we have a choice: give up or keep battling. But there is another choice. Let go. Let go of everything we are holding on to tightly. Allow the storm to pass. Rest our mind and body, then start working on the root cause slowly and steadily. Yes, it’s hard work, but the result is amazing. Things in life start to align again. We feel more connected to life, to friends, to nature, to the world! Indeed, we feel alive! We are survivors, becoming people who can empower others to reach that amazing place too.

Discover Your Purpose

Feeling lost or unsure about your purpose? Check out our feature article of the month on finding your purpose for more insights and inspiration. Ready to take the next step? Use Dr Mel Baker’s purpose-determining tool to uncover your unique path and start living a more fulfilling life today.

10 September 202110 September 2021

Self-Love

Our souls long for love. A tender touch that can only render inside. An expression that every person craves. At times, we can wonder where such love can be? Love can feel so dim inside a lonely heart. What would life be like without love? For we would not know the true meaning of this world, the true depths of relationships and friendships – for what we have and what we hope for is bound in love.

A common trait among those who become mentally unwell is lack of self-love. We tend to give more to other people’s needs than our own. We tend to care for others, more than we care for ourselves. We tend to love deeply, and hurt deeply, and neglect to give that same love to ourselves, but it seems we have no issue in blaming ourselves for the hurt.

However, it is not just mental health sufferers who are not great in self-love. Adults who have not suffered from trauma or been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, also struggle with it. From my research, the average mental health sufferer reported 50.3% and the average healthy adult reported 55% that they regularly self-love.

Self-love is a prerequisite to belief in self. Believing in ourselves is one of the strongest internal validations we can have to build our self-worth, have hope, be successful and build a stronger foundation. Without self-love, we would struggle to believe that we can truly make it.

Have you ever felt incredibly stuck? And in that stuck place, a part of you is slowly dying. I felt within me a longing to be nurtured, of who I am with no pretence, no falsehood or invisible masks, no compromise. I have learned that being stuck requires action. If we know how to care and love others beyond description, then we should be able to apply those same principles to ourselves. I must admit it is harder though! We have to start off with the belief that we deserve love, care, attention; and when we start to believe, we then see that receiving love is much easier too.

If you have no reserves in loving, caring and nurturing yourself; what would your world look like?

For me, it will be a world of freedom, love, compassion. There will be boundaries. It will most definitely be a safe haven. A place of no fear. A place I can know my needs and wants and freely give me the chance to receive them. A place I offer genuine care and concern as I have done for others for so long, but to also freely give that to me too. This world will have a solid foundation, surrounded by nature, beauty, peace and acceptance; so that when I walk into my world I will feel empowered to be me.

Ultimately, the more we can love ourselves, the better we will be in serving and helping others and also in receiving their love in return. It’s a win-win.

Publication on self-love will be out September 2021.

7 July 20217 July 2021

Acceptance

How many times have you gone through a life event feeling like your world has crashed? Or you could be just holding it together, then something so tiny comes in your path and that is the thing that has tipped you over. How we deal with every life event has a significant impact on our health and well-being.

When I was in recovery of adult trauma, I built on my well-being research and created about 150 tools over the course of two years. The tools helped me learn more about myself and how to deal with life events in a positive way and they went on to help many other individuals as well. In a St John of God (SJOG) program I attended (2014-2015), on Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), it widened my horizons in understanding more of my behaviour following trauma. A program that every individual should complete! Like most things I learn, I drew on everything I have read about, attended and utilised in therapy to harness their full potential. This included, my own research, DBT, CBT, ACT and mindfulness. Out of my learning, I created a board game The Wellbeing Roadmap Game that is designed to discover your core values, five senses, a firmations, world views, well-being and acceptance to life events. At the end of the game, you walk away with tools to use when stressed and more of an understanding of self through the roadmap of life.

You may find yourself going up through the mountains on Overcomer Highway. You may visit Respite Place at the foothills beside a beautiful peaceful lake for some time out. You may find yourself a few times in the desert of Internally Stuck Avenue, you know the place, that endless vicious cycle that never seems to have a way out! And you may even wind your way down into Give Up Close, that cave or pit, we hang out alone in sometimes. Whatever path we are on, we discover and learn more things about ourselves. When we get the opportunity to be at Acceptance Round-a-bout that’s when we make a choice what road we actually travel upon. If we continue to not deal with the life event, we might find ourselves on that rollercoaster ever circling Internally Stuck (the suffering road). This road is not all bad, sometimes we need to build up our courage, and growth does come from suffering.

In DBT, Marsha Linehan, talks about radical acceptance. If we accept, then we are willing and free; if we don’t accept, then we are wilful and su fer. Acceptance doesn’t mean we approve of what happened to us. Acceptance means we acknowledge that this life event happened and work out the best strategies to move on and not let the event drag us down any further. The more we stay on the “suffering road”, the more we are using all our energy to fight, and our health will deteriorate because the amount of stress and cortisol that is mounting up can cause long-term damage.

To learn more about acceptance, read inspire stories, see amazing outback Australian photography, be empowered in learning about the top 5 movement therapies to improve your mental health and heal illnesses – grab your copy of issue 3 today!

Mel