Finding your Purpose: a journey of Rediscovery

Purpose is like the breath of life. For some, it could be more the breadth, depth, and width of life. We often think most about our purpose when we are struggling: as a teenager wondering what job we will do or which university course to take; when we become dissatisfied with our job, career direction, or course; and when we suffer trauma or health issues and lose the role we loved. I’ve been through all three, and the worst was the latter. When you finally find that role that fits you like a glove, you’re passionate about it, you love going to work, being part of the team, and then everything is taken from beneath you. Not only have I experienced it, but I’ve also witnessed and stood beside thousands of emergency services and Defence personnel going through this change once labelled ‘hurt on duty’ then medically discharged. How do we recover from this loss? Not only the loss of something we loved but the loss of our mental health, physical health, passion, drive, and purpose.

One thing I discovered on my journey is that my purpose was never truly lost; it just needed a new way to be expressed. It will certainly be different, and once we accept that, opportunities start to arise. Throughout my life, my purpose has always been education, motivational speaking, and supporting others to be their best. After my time in the police and navy, I found that my drive, passion, and purpose were still thriving. I just had to find the right avenue within my limitations.

After you decide to move forward, what happens next is truly amazing. It’s like the shifting forces of nature were engulfing your whole being beforehand. Most days felt like you were trying to move in the opposite direction through a massive windstorm. Then, the day it all becomes too much, sand flickers into your eyes, disabling your sight, and you feel totally exhausted—physically, mentally, and emotionally. It seems impossible to go on. At this point, we have a choice: give up or keep battling. But there is another choice. Let go. Let go of everything we are holding on to tightly. Allow the storm to pass. Rest our mind and body, then start working on the root cause slowly and steadily. Yes, it’s hard work, but the result is amazing. Things in life start to align again. We feel more connected to life, to friends, to nature, to the world! Indeed, we feel alive! We are survivors, becoming people who can empower others to reach that amazing place too.

Discover Your Purpose

Feeling lost or unsure about your purpose? Check out our feature article of the month on finding your purpose for more insights and inspiration. Ready to take the next step? Use Dr Mel Baker’s purpose-determining tool to uncover your unique path and start living a more fulfilling life today.

Radiate Positivity

A few months ago I was standing in a skyscraper, looking right down at the ground, about a 70 metre drop. I was totally drained of all positivity. I struggled to be present in the moment. In fact, my mind was stuck in a past trauma. I felt like I was experiencing it again. I wasn’t really seeing the ground beneath me, I was seeing what happened to me back then.

In that moment, I could choose to stay stuck in my past, or I could choose to bring myself out of it and be present. I could choose to keep looking at the ground, and try to tell myself I can make it; or I could choose to look up, and see the beautiful view that surrounds me. In looking up, I am changing my outlook to be ahead. I am changing my posture to be tall and confident. The shift has caused me to focus on me in the here and now, to calm my being and be positive.

Now I can speak positivity into my situation. Now I can believe in myself once again as who I am today because of what I have gone through. And then, I can radiate positivity. From what I have experienced, that captures another soul walking by feeling perhaps stuck or lost.

Positivity celebrates life at various levels. It is choosing to see life from a different perspective, and helps to overcome and improve life’s moment to be more liveable. As a smile or laughter is infectious, letting go of life’s pressures and allowing us to shine brings so much more to ourselves, to others around us, and to our very act in living.

radiate positivity
Dr Mel Baker

Acceptance

How many times have you gone through a life event feeling like your world has crashed? Or you could be just holding it together, then something so tiny comes in your path and that is the thing that has tipped you over. How we deal with every life event has a significant impact on our health and well-being.

When I was in recovery of adult trauma, I built on my well-being research and created about 150 tools over the course of two years. The tools helped me learn more about myself and how to deal with life events in a positive way and they went on to help many other individuals as well. In a St John of God (SJOG) program I attended (2014-2015), on Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), it widened my horizons in understanding more of my behaviour following trauma. A program that every individual should complete! Like most things I learn, I drew on everything I have read about, attended and utilised in therapy to harness their full potential. This included, my own research, DBT, CBT, ACT and mindfulness. Out of my learning, I created a board game The Wellbeing Roadmap Game that is designed to discover your core values, five senses, a firmations, world views, well-being and acceptance to life events. At the end of the game, you walk away with tools to use when stressed and more of an understanding of self through the roadmap of life.

You may find yourself going up through the mountains on Overcomer Highway. You may visit Respite Place at the foothills beside a beautiful peaceful lake for some time out. You may find yourself a few times in the desert of Internally Stuck Avenue, you know the place, that endless vicious cycle that never seems to have a way out! And you may even wind your way down into Give Up Close, that cave or pit, we hang out alone in sometimes. Whatever path we are on, we discover and learn more things about ourselves. When we get the opportunity to be at Acceptance Round-a-bout that’s when we make a choice what road we actually travel upon. If we continue to not deal with the life event, we might find ourselves on that rollercoaster ever circling Internally Stuck (the suffering road). This road is not all bad, sometimes we need to build up our courage, and growth does come from suffering.

In DBT, Marsha Linehan, talks about radical acceptance. If we accept, then we are willing and free; if we don’t accept, then we are wilful and su fer. Acceptance doesn’t mean we approve of what happened to us. Acceptance means we acknowledge that this life event happened and work out the best strategies to move on and not let the event drag us down any further. The more we stay on the “suffering road”, the more we are using all our energy to fight, and our health will deteriorate because the amount of stress and cortisol that is mounting up can cause long-term damage.

To learn more about acceptance, read inspire stories, see amazing outback Australian photography, be empowered in learning about the top 5 movement therapies to improve your mental health and heal illnesses – grab your copy of issue 3 today!

Mel